Dear god some people are thick.

"Svend" (svend) 12/08/2019 at 07:38 • Filed to: None

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Placed an order for McDonalds on Ubereats, an hour ago.

Five minutes ago a courier on a bicycle comes up on the screen on Shaddongate (some five streets away or so), he heads onto John Street and then left onto Church Street, the complete opposite way to McDonalds, gets all the way up to the corner of Stanhope Road before realising his error, turns around.

Back down Church Street onto Castle Way. Now before getting to Castle Way he could’ve  crossed the road and used the cycle path street into the city centre and up Castle Street, but no, he went along Castle Way, up Tower Street, followed Drovers Lane then up Lowther Street. He’s done ten minutes of extra cycling (with some steep bits and busy traffic, that he needn’t of.

Now he’s heading east, when he should be heading south.

He’s now heading north on Lowther Street, the complete wrong way from me.

He’s now heading the right way, will he take the cycle route to my house or the steep hill and traffic lights on the busy junction?

Of course, he’s taken the hard way. Idiot.

Well that explains him not taking the cycle routes. Even though it says he was on a bicycle, he was driving an old Nissan.

The only time I’ve not given a tip and only two stars.

Two Big Tastys, one BigMac and large fries.

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > Svend 12/08/2019 at 08:18

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You’re making me hungry...

ttyymmnn > Svend 12/08/2019 at 08:19

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Isn’t that food now stone cold? McDonald’s has a post-cooking life of about 5 minutes, after which it tastes dreadful, particularly the fries. 

Tekamul > Svend 12/08/2019 at 08:20

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That means he has no license and/or insurance. That’s a common occurence for Uber Eats. They can't provide the info, so they signup as a bike.

Svend > ttyymmnn 12/08/2019 at 08:25

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It was lukewarm, the fries were still edible. 

Svend > Tekamul 12/08/2019 at 08:27

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Appa rently it’s a thing in the U.K. to sell your Uber I.D. to someone who hasn’t been allowed to deliver for Ubereats, these put down bi cycle to avoid checks that would cross check the driver with the vehicle. 

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > Svend 12/08/2019 at 08:29

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dude......leave the courier alone....i mean he’s clearly dense and cant help it

i thought you had taste mate

a fucking guiding light of good eats is what i thought you was

then you went and got mcdonalds...

i may not recover from this....

Svend > RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars 12/08/2019 at 08:33

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I love Big Tastys. The BBQ mayo is lovely.

Svend > farscythe - makin da cawfee! 12/08/2019 at 08:54

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Lol.

Did is the route he should of took.

The blue road is closed due to demolition of an old hotel that has been allowed to get into a bad structural way.

The order should of been 25 minutes tops, it was one hour fifteen minutes.

I love a McDonalds Big Tasty though.

I’m not one for McDonalds, but I can’t be arsed cooking as I’ve a gammon in the oven slow cooking for dinner. 

Discerning > Svend 12/08/2019 at 08:58

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Hes probably tired from working umpteen hours for next to nothing.

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > Svend 12/08/2019 at 09:04

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Not sure the Big Tasty is actually on the menu here at McD’s!

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Svend 12/08/2019 at 09:10

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You said “could of”, I’m ethically and legally  obligated to kill you now

TheRealBicycleBuck > ttyymmnn 12/08/2019 at 09:14

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A good friend of mine taught me that the proper way to consume a McDonalds meal is fries first. Don’t even open the burger box so it stays warm while you munch down all of the piping hot fries.

For Wendy’s, it is also fries-first, but to make them edible, one must alternate bites of fries with spoonfuls of Frosty. If you’re quick, you can dip the fries into the Frosty and get it into your mouth before the Frosty drips off the hot fries.

Svend > Discerning 12/08/2019 at 09:14

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I seriously doubt it. It may have more to do with most of the drivers aren’t from here and come up from Manchester (120 miles to the south of us ) to work.

But even a basic sat nav would show them the route. 

The job wasn’t even assigned to anyone for a good 50 minutes (it’s usually two or three),

TheRealBicycleBuck > Svend 12/08/2019 at 09:15

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We were pretty poor when I was a kid, so McDonalds was considered a treat. My kids are spoiled and refuse to eat at McDonalds.

MultiplaOrgasms > Svend 12/08/2019 at 09:19

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Did he at least drive a good kind of old Nissan?

Svend > RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars 12/08/2019 at 09:21

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It’s good. large burger pattie, onions, beef tomato slices, lettuce (I have omitted), two slices of I think emmental cheese and smokey mayo sauce.

Svend > TheRealBicycleBuck 12/08/2019 at 09:27

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Me and my sister were coeliacs gro w ing up, went into remission s ome 20-25 years ago, so burgers were off the menu for all our childhood, but we had a burger chain called Wimpy, that was our McDonalds equivalent, we’d have chips and a milkshake and that was it.

It’s probably best they don’t eat at McDonalds. I’ll go months without a McDonalds, then one day I’ll get a craving, get one, then remind myself why it’s been so long since I had one. 

Svend > MultiplaOrgasms 12/08/2019 at 09:28

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No. Old 2002 Nissan Almera in silver, like this one.

Just so, mehhhh. 

ttyymmnn > TheRealBicycleBuck 12/08/2019 at 09:30

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McD fries and a chocolate shake is one of my favorite snacks. But I’ve never been a dipper. 

Svend > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 12/08/2019 at 09:32

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Changed to ‘could’ve’.

MultiplaOrgasms > Svend 12/08/2019 at 09:32

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I see, he wa s a man of taste. Almeras are dripping with style and flair, almost italian. 

Svend > MultiplaOrgasms 12/08/2019 at 09:37

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No, definitely more convenience and price rather than anything else. These go for £500-1,000. But you can usually pick these up on the street for £200-300. They are crap cans.   

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Svend 12/08/2019 at 09:38

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Too late. You wrote "should of" in a comment and now the editing window has closed.

gin-san - shitpost specialist > ttyymmnn 12/08/2019 at 09:49

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This is my problem with mcdelivery, I can’t imagine it being good unless you live so close to a McDs that you may as well just walk and have it hot. 

XJDano > Svend 12/08/2019 at 09:51

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Same goes for us with White Castle in our surroundings. The holes in the patties are so the clock through without flipping.

Svend > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 12/08/2019 at 10:05

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Well I also wrote ‘needn’t of’ as well, I’m owning it, my language I’ll do what I want. So there. Raspppppppp........

Svend > farscythe - makin da cawfee! 12/08/2019 at 10:09

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Oh man. It’s so good. I had the gammon in to soak for five hours in cold water, then wrapped and slow cooked in a bath of Cherry Coke for six hours, drained and then baked for another 20 minutes uncovered with some honey over the top. The fat is golden and crispy with the meat falling apart. 

fhrblig > farscythe - makin da cawfee! 12/08/2019 at 10:37

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Hey, calm down. It’s not like he ordered Burger King.

TheRealBicycleBuck > Svend 12/08/2019 at 10:43

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This is the only Wimpy I ever knew.

Svend > fhrblig 12/08/2019 at 10:47

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We haven’t had a Burger King in my city for over ten years.

They are supposedly coming back and going to build on the site of a former petrol station. 

fhrblig > Svend 12/08/2019 at 10:49

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I usually only go to McDonald’s for breakfast, but sometimes I get a severe craving for a double Quarter Pounder with Cheese .  Extra pickles.

Svend > TheRealBicycleBuck 12/08/2019 at 10:51

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This was Wimpy in the U.K.

They used to be everywhere, then they disappeared from most places but have been making a come back.

fhrblig > Svend 12/08/2019 at 10:52

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There’s one up the street from us. Depending on which way the wind is blowing it either smells like hamburgers (from the north) or steak (there’s an Outback Steakhouse just south of us).  Either way, were surrounded by a meat fog.

Nibby > Svend 12/08/2019 at 10:54

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some people are thicc

Svend > fhrblig 12/08/2019 at 10:56

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The breakfasts are the worst. Thankfully there is a Greggs across the road that has started opening up sooner. The thing is, if I eat a McDonalds breakfast, it doesn’t taste great and only fills a hole for ten-15 minutes, where as Greggs pasties and sandwiches taste good and fill you for much longer. 

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > fhrblig 12/08/2019 at 11:00

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mac d is so so very much worse than burger king

and burger king is a crime against humanity

fhrblig > Svend 12/08/2019 at 11:02

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Too bad you don’t have Carl’s Jr. or Hardees. They have fantastic biscuit sandwiches. Their burgers are good, too. In fact, I’m about to head over there to grab our breakfast now.

fhrblig > farscythe - makin da cawfee! 12/08/2019 at 11:04

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Not here they aren’t.  Burger Kings here are usually a hot mess.

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > fhrblig 12/08/2019 at 11:09

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huh.... must be a regional thing....over here burger king is generally better than mac d

their burgers taste like burgers and everything....mac d tastes like soggy cardboard... their chips are okay tho

Svend > fhrblig 12/08/2019 at 11:21

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Probably for the best. It would just start a war.

This is a biscuit in the U.K.

And we won’t be told b y people who aren’t us, differently. Lol. 

fhrblig > Svend 12/08/2019 at 11:36

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What? I can’t hear you over all this freedom.

Hey, look, it’s some actual biscuits!

Svend > fhrblig 12/08/2019 at 11:39

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Maybe you could hear me if you had affordable universal healthcare to get your ears checked. Lol.

I don’t want to even think what they’d be over here. Overdone scones maybe!? 

MultiplaOrgasms > Svend 12/08/2019 at 11:45

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Of course they are crap, they were built in Europe. 

Svend > MultiplaOrgasms 12/08/2019 at 11:58

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Watch it. So was the Fiat Multipla.

MultiplaOrgasms > Svend 12/08/2019 at 12:03

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Never said anything about Multiplas being good.

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > Svend 12/08/2019 at 12:16

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I expect you to deliver some to me post-haste. :P

Svend > RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars 12/08/2019 at 12:20

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Well I know I can deliver it faster than the guy who delivered mine would get to you. 

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > Svend 12/08/2019 at 12:42

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Evidently! :P

Cé hé sin > Svend 12/08/2019 at 15:07

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McDonalds here do a coffee and a toastie (ham/cheese , cheese or rasher/cheese ) for €3 in the mornings. The rest of the day they do a coffee and bun/cookie/muffin for €3.

Anything else they offer isn’t worth it.

McDonalds in France do proper coffee from an espresso machine and proper croissants.

Cé hé sin > Svend 12/08/2019 at 15:07

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The Americans eat biscuits and gravy. No biscuits or gravy are actually involved.

Cé hé sin > Svend 12/08/2019 at 15:11

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My brother has one like that. Check engine light’s been on for three years but it still passes the M oT. He’ll have to scrap it next year because despite b eing a p er fectly good car it doesn’t meet the later emissions standards and will be penalised for being in the ULEZ in London.

Svend > Cé hé sin 12/08/2019 at 15:12

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For me, Costa coffee s the coffee for me. Starbucks, McCafe coffee, etc... don’t do it for me. 

Cé hé sin > MultiplaOrgasms 12/08/2019 at 15:12

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So is the Toyota Avensis. People swear by them.

Svend > Cé hé sin 12/08/2019 at 15:14

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and they look at us like were doing it wrong, we’ve been doing it for hundreds of years before them.

The old adage, ‘don’t teach your grand mother to suck eggs’, comes to mind. 

Svend > Cé hé sin 12/08/2019 at 15:17

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Places are really clamping down on emissions with quite a bit of focus going on diesels. 

glemon > Svend 12/08/2019 at 17:32

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I don’t know how anybody finds anything on those meandering roads that change directions, merge, split, etc. Grew up in a town laid out in a grid pattern (no longer in the new parts of town) I have a very low level of navigational skills.